Shark Hunting
0 comment Friday, July 4, 2014 |
There's a famous scene in one of my favourite films, Jaws, where Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss are on Quint's fishing boat trying to catch the Great White shark that has been plaguing the waters of their island and eating people. In this scene Roy Scheider is nonchalantly throwing meat and blood into the sea to attract the shark, when the Great White with his enormous mouth and hellish rows of razor-sharp teeth looms quietly out of the water right in front of him. Shocked by the almost supernaturally large size of the shark, Roy Scheider backs slowly into the fishing boat's cabin and says to Quint, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."
Last Friday such a moment happened to me. Nothing to do with sharks, but to do with the size of the demons my son is battling. He did something that shocked the hell out of me and made me realise the enormity of the thing we are dealing with.
To keep all this metaphorical - because I don't think I can write about what actually happened - there we all were, my family, in this boat, and I knew there was a shark out there and that either sharky would leave us alone, or sharky might attack and we'd have to fight him one day, but I did not realise that the shark was a bloody gigantic Great White capable of capsizing our boat and eating us all. Not until it came out of the water and showed me its huge mouth and teeth, I didn't.
So, we're gonna need a bigger boat. Or, in other words, I've gone to my GP who has made us a referral to CAMHS.
I don't know that I have an unshakable faith in our Mental Health Services. I will be cautious until they have proven to me their shark handling abilities and I will remain prepared to intervene if it looks like they are putting my son in the way of the shark, rather than trying to pull the shark's teeth out or punching it in the nose to make it go away. Having seen the size of the thing however, I can't just sit around on my piddling little boat anymore waiting for us to be shark's lunch.
But let me say this: if it comes to it, I am prepared to go one-to-one with the Great White that is circling my family. If I have to, I will shove a scuba tank in its mouth, shoot the tank, and blow the monster to fecking kingdon come. I will do that because That's what mothers are for. It would, however, be preferable if a bigger boat could come and harpoon the thing to death for us. Please please please could a bigger boat come and harpoon the thing to death for us.