a child's idea of handling grief
0 comment Saturday, June 28, 2014 |
So, on Friday I talked to my son about how I think he expresses his worries through his behaviour and I suggested that if he feels worried, or sad, or angry about something that instead of being defiant, scream or tantrum, that he uses his words. Tell me you want to talk to me, I said, and we'll have a chat and a hug and I think you'll find that will make you feel much better than screaming.
Last night, it got nearer to bedtime and son started up his behaviour with husband, so I stepped in and reminded him that he had a choice. He could either stop this and tell us how he feels through using his words, or he could carry on and face the consequences. This settled him down a little.
When it came to say a final goodnight, this is how it went.
ME: Goodnight son, sweet dreams, see you in the morning.
SON: Mummy, I'm sad and I want a chat and a cuddle.
ME: (giving son a hug) Son I am so glad you could tell me that, tell me about why you feel sad.
SON: Because I keep thinking about my old mum.
ME: Oh I can see why that would make you sad, because you miss her, and also you feel sad for her because she had a sad life.
SON: Yes.
ME: And that makes you worry about night times, because at night you get worried that you're going to think about her and get sad?
SON: Yes.
ME: I understand. What do you think we could do to make you feel better?
SON: You could buy me some Pokemon Black and White cards.
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the strange world of the adopted child!